Narration Socks

Silent Step +1
Toe Temperature +5
Silly Accents +1
Arch Support +.2
Balance +1
Heel Pain –1
Lego Defense +2 

Medically proven* to provide support and improve narration skills by an order of magnitude. Soundbooth Theater has poured countless man hours and resources into perfecting what so many narrators recognize as the most important tool in the art of narration: the SOCK. Without proper insulation, arch support, and the phalangeal intimacy of a properly affectionate sock, narrators often find their voice acting cold, aimless, or even inhumane. Don’t let yourself deliver performances that reveal the naked emptiness of your sole. Equip yourself with Narration +1! from Soundbooth Theater.

Please note: all orders are packaged and shipped once a week. If you select one-day shipping, it may still take several days for processing on our end. If purchased in conjunction with other merch, the items will ship all at once, when the socks are ready.

*Any tests performed on the narration socks were performed by non-human doctors from the Orthopedic Clowning Academy and have no scientific value. Soundbooth Theater is not liable for any slipping, sliding, or stretching. When wearing your narration socks, please use on feet as directed. We do not recommend using the socks as masturbation receptacles. Side effects may include cringe memes, bad jokes, even worse slurping sounds, and a propensity for risky business.